So, I wasn't sure to share this or not..when I was about 8 weeks along with my pregnancy, I started bleeding large amounts of blood. When on the toilet I noticed that I passed something that looked like the baby would look like at that stage. (grayish/whitish clump). My husband and I were so upset and we immediately went to the emergency room. They drew blood, examined me and confirmed I was having a miscarriage (per the blood tests). They said to schedule a D&C with my doctor the following Monday (This was on a Friday evening). The weekend wait was excruciating..and we had finally accepted that we had lost our baby and were ready to move on to TTC again.
At the doctor's office Monday, he looked over the papers from the hospital, talked to me and we both decided to do one last ultrasound just to check things out. They got me lubed up, got the machine going..and "swoosh swoosh swoosh..." A heartbeat!!!!?? We were all shocked (including the doctor). After further discussion, he said it was most likely a twin that we didn't even know we were carrying..that had passed. The pregnancy continued, my amazingly healthy and intelligent son is now 7 years old.
I try not to think about my other child...I know he is in God's hands and one day I will see him again. But when I see twin babies...I can't help but tear up. I believe every life is planned by the Lord, he planted that child inside me. And while on this earth, I'm ok with not knowing why he decided to take him. I trust in God with everything I am - and only hope that I do a good job here on earth, raising the child he gave to me. I know he is in Heaven raising the one He took - I'm sure doing a much better job than me ;)