***UPDATE ***5wks 5 days - falling progesterone and slow rising hcg

***UPDATE ***5wks 5 days - falling progesterone and slow rising hcg

Postby Laura_75 » Wed Nov 09, 2016 5:27 am

Hello

Please help me get some clarity. Today, I am 5 weeks +5 days pregnant. Getting married in 2 days time and feel so sad.

I have had a series of worrisome hcg and progesterone levels over the past few days, since last Thursday, as per below.

(4 wks 6 days) 3/11/16: PROGESTERONE 73.4 nmol/L
(5 weeks 1 day) 5/11/16: PROGESTERONE 60.6 nmol/L
(5 weeks 2 days) 6/11/16: PROGESTERONE 49 nmol/L

(4 wks 6 days) 3/11/16 : QUANTITATIVE Beta H.C.G. 2728.0 IU/L
(5 weeks 1 day) 5/11/16: QUANTITATIVE Beta H.C.G. 2839.0 IU/L
(5 weeks 2 days) 6/11/16: QUANTITATIVE Beta H.C.G. 3099.0 IU/L

Two days ago, on Monday 7th, I had an ultrasound @ 5wks 3 days. We could see a sac, but no embryo inside. The sac is correctly located in uterine (ie not eptopic)

The technician said at 5wks 3 days it is too early to see anything else, and that I should come back in 2 wks for another scan.
However, I will be away on honeymoon and not in the country. I have another scan booked for 7th Dec - which is obviously some time off and anything could happen by then.

I asked, on the balance of probabilities, what is the likely outcome. I was told the hcg levels are 'sub optimal' as they are barely rising, and that I should expect to miscarry.

My head is in such a bad place.

I'm scared. If this pregnancy is not viable, I don't want to prolong things, and I would prefer it end sooner so that we can ttc again. I don't want false hope - I just want a steer on how this is likely to go from here.

The fact that nothing is happening is worse and I'm panicking about if and when it will happen (please God not on wedding day).
I have no pain/cramping, no bleeding, but my breasts - which were previously very sore last week - feels soft and flabby.

I've been having acupuncture to help with a luteal phase defect (ie, short cycle @26 days) and have been using a BBT thermometer to check my temps consistently since end last period. My chart still shows high temps (@37.1 deg celsius / 98.78 fahrenheit today).

I feel such a failure and just desperately sad inside. The thought of faking it on Friday is just too much.
L x
Last edited by Laura_75 on Mon Jan 23, 2017 9:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
Laura_75
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Re: 5wks 5 days - falling progesterone and slow rising hcg

Postby stilltryinghere » Wed Nov 09, 2016 1:51 pm

Aw hun, I know what that feels like.

I got married last year while I was still pregnant with my first baby, and I knew at that time that the baby was going to die. It ended up passing away at 15 weeks and I had to go to the hospital and everything. My mini-honeymoon was miserable, looking at all the babies and happy pregnant ladies walking by the beach... Just the saddest time in my life ever. Marriage and honeymoon, waiting for my little one to give up from his fight to live. :(

I keep telling myself, once I get my baby I am doing all of that all over again and I'm going to be happy!

At this point there is nothing you can do but wait it out saddly. Are you taking progesterone supositories?

You are not a failure and stop punishing yourself by thinking that. What you are going through right now is punishment enough ok?

I managed to survive my wedding by simply focusing on how lucky I was to be marrying my husband, and how lucky I have been because we get along so well. I had a lingering sadness haunt me the whole time, but it made things more tolerable.

I am not saying by any means that this is a lost case. Who knows, maybe your hcg levels seem off from things like lack of hidration, even the acupuncture.

This is my third try, and this time hcg rose slowly too at 5 weeks and a bit, and my ex doctor told me to give up, and my baby is still here, I'll be 18 weeks soon.

Try to step aside from your own mind when you can. Give it some rest.

Stay strong.
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**UPDATE**Re: 5wks 5 days - falling progesterone and slow rising hcg

Postby Laura_75 » Mon Jan 23, 2017 9:09 am

Hi
I just thought I'd provide an update to this, in the hope that it might help someone else going through a similar situation.
Unfortunately, I did have a miscarriage, approximately 9 days post my wedding day - ie, about 2 wks after I had originally posted this message on the board.

It was a very difficult time. For one thing; getting married - the worry that it would all start while I was wearing a white dress (*thankfully it didn't), and also the horrible limbo period of the time immediately after our wedding while we were on honeymoon. At that point, we still had the false hope that somehow maybe the diagnosis was wrong....

I started spotting approx 2 wks after the ultrasound and this then turned into painful cramps and continual bleeding for approx 10 days total culminating in what seemed to be the passing of a sac (while we were hiking up a mountain in S America).
This was my first miscarriage and I hadn't a clue about what to expect.
The cramps were surprisingly strong and, emotionally, I really felt my body had let me down.

A couple of months have passed now and whilst the grief is less raw, it is still there.
We plan on buying a rose to remember what could have been, so that we can see it blossom and bloom each year.

My perspective on ttc and pregnancy has very much changed since then. How could it not?
Prior to that pregnancy, I had been super conscientous in terms of talking multivits and was really excited on getting a positive preg test result. At that stage, I was so naive (as was my husband). We just assumed that was it: job done, all to look forward to.

I look back now and think we were so stupid not to even imagine anything could go wrong. It's only since then that we have talked to others and discovered this whole, amazing *secret* that no one ever tells you about.....Friends who have had miscarriages have been particularly generous and kind in sharing their stories - this has been hugely helpful.
Hearing these stories have been hugely, hugely helpful in processing the grief and has given us strength.

As a couple, it has brought us closer - it's a shared experience that I wish we had not had....but in other ways, it shows me that my husband is a good man who loves me, and that he is grieving too in his own way. My natural instinct at the time this was all happening was to push him away....all I wanted was to curl up and cry, and be on my own. Understanding that he was hurting too, and was also grieving lost hopes (as was I), helped me to keep the communication going at a time when I could so easily have withdrawn. I'm so glad we got through it together.

We also faced other curve balls too in this time - finding out that my sis in law is pregnant (due date only a week from my original due date), losing my job on my return post honeymoon and having an unsupportive mother. It's been hard.
Most upsetting at all has been my mother's reaction. She mentioned it in passing and instead threw a celebration lunch for my sis in law. It was almost as if the tacit understanding was that I couldn't / shouldn't talk about it. That's been disappointing - we just haven't really spoken since my return. I wanted my Mum! instead, just nothing. She has always been a selfish and difficult woman, but this time I just don't have the energy to play that game. I'm not being a bore about it, but the one thing I won't do is pretend it hasn't happened.

We returned to the UK after our honeymoon and both felt so bruised that we just wanted a complete break from ttc. I also wanted to let my body recover and find its cycle again, but also find our intimacy as a couple without the added pressure of ttc on fertile days. (oh, the pressure!) My period came 4 wks post the end of the miscarriage and in many ways this was a relief as finally I felt my body was doing something right and predictable. This was 3 days of heavy bleeding.

A couple of days ago, I found out that we are pregnant. This was something of a surprise as we have not been actively trying since our return, and also I have not been taking any vitamins and in fact have been completely indifferent / apathetic to the whole idea of ttc. It has felt too raw. As of today, I am 4 wks +3.

I am trying to compartmentalise and not think about it, but even now I keep thinking back to last time and the test results and how things went to dreadfully wrong, so fast. This time, I'm trying not to invest into it and see what happens. Fatalistic is not the half of it!

Anyway; that's my story so far. I found this board so helpful last time; if someone is reading my story and is going through a hard time - well; I am sending you love, light and positivity xxxxx
Laura_75
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Re: ***UPDATE ***5wks 5 days - falling progesterone and slow rising hcg

Postby Natalie219 » Thu Mar 16, 2017 3:20 pm

Hi Laura,

Thank you for sharing your story. I can relate in a lot of ways. Hoping for a healthy and happy pregnancy.

~Hugs!
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