OMG! I just passed the sac :(

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OMG! I just passed the sac :(

Postby Gabesmom » Tue Dec 20, 2005 1:40 pm

I just experienced the WORST! After Sat night, passing alot of tissue, I was trying to prepare myself for passing the sac as many of you had told me about.

The Pearl Onion thing was NOT what I passed. This is going to be graphic but I need to say it; as I sat on the toilet trying to push (my doc appt is in 2 hours and I really wanted to pass whatever was left if I could) I felt something coming out. I grabbed my hand-mirror and saw the top of something big. I didn't want it to fall in the toilet, so at that moment all I could do was put my hand between my legs...

What fell into my hand was definately my baby. :cry: The size was about as long as a tampon, and very round in the middle; about the size of a golf ball. I lost it, and started crying. My poor son was looking at me saying, "that's mommy's boo-boo?"

So I put it in a baggie and will be taking it to the doc in about an hour. I'm so mentally broken right now; I wasn't prepared for anything to come out of me that big. I know if I opened that sac, I would see something resembling a baby. I can't do that right now.

When they did my first U/S they said it stopped developing around 7 weeks. A 7 week old fetus is supposed to be about as big as a bean. This thing was so much bigger. I'm so sad and depressed and bewildered...

I'll email more when I get back.
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Postby amyd » Tue Dec 20, 2005 7:49 pm

Shelly,
It sounds like what you passed was definitely the sac. Yes, a 7 week old fetus is as big as a bean, but the gestational sac is much bigger than the fetus. I can tell by what you described that you KNEW you had more to pass. You are very in tune with your body and that is so good. And, yes, mine was bigger than a pearl onion, too, but not as large as yours because mine had only developed to 5.5 weeks.

I am so sorry that you are so upset. It is a horrible thing to go through. My heart is aching for you right now.

Please let us know how your appointment went with your doctor. I hope you are able to post. This site has been so screwy - I just now was able to pull up your post.
-Amy
Me (Amy) - 36; DH (John) - 41
DS (Ian) - 5 (4/4/03)
Angel Baby - 11/23/05
DD (Hannah) - 1 (1/5/07)
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Postby Gabesmom » Tue Dec 20, 2005 8:25 pm

Hi Amy, thanks for your reply. Yes, the site has been acting weird today...

I saw my midwife today and she wanted to send the sac to Pathology to be looked at. She said they wouldn't do genetic testing, only "look" at it to see if things were normal. Not sure what that ment, but she told me I wouldn't get it back. So I said "No, I want it". After what I went through, I don't want it just tossed out with the trash. She took it to look at it with the Doc who was there and it was weird; after she took it, I felt like I did when they took my son to get his first bath away from me. I felt scared they were going to do something to it. Wow, it was weird. The Doc said it looked normal for a 7 week fetus.

After this day, I definately have changed my views on this whole situation. I now feel like I lost a "baby". Before I saw it, it wasn't a baby. I thought of it as tissue. After seeing it come out of me, I really hit me hard. I want to check on the cremation options someone spoke about, I can't just throw it away.

My midwife did a pelvic exam - very quickly. She said my cervix was closed and nothing else was coming out. My bleeding is still very red, but pretty light. She said as long as it slows, and I don't experience any severe abdominal pains, cramps or more bleeding I'll be fine. I asked her if we could do an ultrasound to check and make sure things were all gone, she said it wasn't neccesary. I kinda wish we could have done it, but somehow when you get in the office, the docs have a way of persuading you to do things you don't want to?

Anyway, so now I'm feeling so sad. And I know how all of you whove had a m/s feel. Some posts about losing babies seemed so foreign to me at first; I couldn't grasp how you could name a miscarried fetus, or care what happened to the tissue. Until it happened to me it wasn't "real".

Now I just hope and pray that when we do try again, things proceed normally. I've never wanted to be pregnant as much as I do right now.
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Postby amyd » Tue Dec 20, 2005 8:52 pm

Oh Shelly! My heart is going out to you right now. :cry: I know just what you mean. When I called my doctor's office to tell them what I had passed and they suggested that I bring it in I said "no". (I was so afraid that they would talk me into leaving it there.) I told the nurse that I would explain to the doctor what I passed when I had my appointment. She said that it is really helpful if they can examine it to make sure that I have passed everything. I told her that I was sure that I had. She finally relented because she knew I wasn't going to budge. The doctor was much more understanding when I went in than the nurse was over the phone. I brought up the subject and he said, "Don't even worry about it. I completely understand." He was really great about it. I felt the same way you are feeling. It was MY baby and I was going to do what I needed to do. I am so glad I stuck to my guns. Every day I look outside and see the tree that we planted and the memorial stepping stone and I feel somehow connected to that child. I told you before that we did not pick out a definite name because we didn't know the sex - we chose Angel to be put on the stone. This child will forever be my Angel.

They probably didn't feel it was necessary to do the ultrasound because the did see what you passed. I didn't even bring mine in, so my doctor did the ultrasound to make sure all was passed. I know what you mean about them having ways of persuading you though. I asked my doc on that day if I needed to do follow-up hcg blood checks. He said "no" that I could monitor my level for the first 2 weeks with home pregnancy tests. Now I wish I would have insisted upon it because my levels are dropping slowly. I have no idea where my starting point was as far as a number, but now it doesn't really matter because NOW they are monitoring the levels. And, supposedly, they are dropping at an appropriate rate.

I am so sorry that you are so sad. I am still sad. I don't know when I will stop feeling sad - it has been 4 weeks since I miscarried. I, too, want to try again soon. As soon as I get the "go ahead" we will begin trying. I am afraid of starting over also. Right now I should be just over 14 weeks pregnant. I, too, want to be pregnant and feel that life growing inside me. Hopefully, it will be soon. Until then, I pray that your grief isn't too terribly strong. I have been through some pretty dark times the past couple of months. This site has been a Godsend, though. Please let me know if you ever need to talk. Feel free to send me a PM, I would be glad to give you my e-mail address as well.
-Amy
Me (Amy) - 36; DH (John) - 41
DS (Ian) - 5 (4/4/03)
Angel Baby - 11/23/05
DD (Hannah) - 1 (1/5/07)
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Postby Gabesmom » Tue Dec 20, 2005 9:13 pm

Thanks so, so much for you post Amy. Your words are comforting to me right now. I know what you mean about being scared to try again. I'm excited and definitely want to do this again, but I'm so afraid. My first pregnancy was so worry-free. This next one - if there is one - seems like each day will be so trying. I couldn't image going through this again right away. My heart goes out to all the ladies who've went through this over and over. I don't know if I'm that strong.

Each person has to follow their heart in this. I can see why some women get a D&C... I was "lucky" in that I found out right before I miscarried. If they would have told me weeks ago this pregnancy was going to end, I'm not sure I could have waited.

I couldn't fathom miscarrying a fetus much older than 7 weeks. This was pretty traumatic for me,... if I ever have this happen again - farther along, I think I would need intervention. It was just too emotional.

They did take my blood today to check my HcG's and they'll do it in another 2 weeks. My midwife said after they get within zero to five, and then I have a cycle, I can try again.

It's hard for me right now to refer to this baby. I don't know what to call it or how to talk about it. One woman had told me she let her small child "name" the baby. I might do that. After I passed the sac today, by son Gabe (almost 3) said "mommy is that your Boo-Boo?". I guess Boo-Boo is as good a name as any?... :sad:

Amy, I would love to correspond with you via my email. Pls email me at:
shellyhoward31@hotmail.com
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Postby amyd » Tue Dec 20, 2005 10:14 pm

Shelly,
I am e-mailing you right now. :smile:
-Amy
Me (Amy) - 36; DH (John) - 41
DS (Ian) - 5 (4/4/03)
Angel Baby - 11/23/05
DD (Hannah) - 1 (1/5/07)
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Postby Gabesmom » Thu Dec 22, 2005 9:41 am

Just wondering how long to expect the bleeding to continue. I had thought that after things passed, the bleeding would slow/stop.

I went in after the sac had passed and my doc did a pelvic exam and said my cervix was closed and everything "looked fine". They wouldn't do an u/s, not sure why, but she told me that as long as I didn't have any abdominal cramping, heavy bleeding, or other weird signs I'd be fine.

I wouldn't say my bleeding is any heavier than before mc, but I'm just suprised that almost 2 days after, I'm still having VERY RED blood coming out, esp when I sit on the toilet. I'm filling a large pad over the course of 1/2 a day.

For some reason I feel like something's not right. Usually I'm right... this sucks!
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Postby amyd » Thu Dec 22, 2005 7:25 pm

Shelly-
I know you are probably sick of me replying to every single one of your posts, but here it goes!!! I passed the sac on a Friday and continued to bleed red for Saturday, Sunday and Monday (was lighter by Monday, though). Then it stopped by Tuesday morning and I was barely spotting a slight brown by then. I think you will be surprised! I thought my bleeding was going to continue longer too, but then all of a sudden it was done. I think the worst part about it is having to wear a pad and not being able to wear a tampon. If you are filling a large pad over 1/2 of a day only 2 days after passing the sac, that is not too bad at all. I know you are just anxious for all of this to be done though. Don't worry, it will be!!! I'm sure everything is fine. Try not to worry (easier said than done - I'm the same way.)
-Amy
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Postby Thistle » Thu Dec 22, 2005 9:22 pm

Oh, ow. Owie ouch ouch OUCH. Shelly, my heart is in shrivels right now for you. I wish had the right words -or the proximity!- to say or do whatever it would take to alleviate some of your pain. I am so completely blown away by what you described -and knowing that so many of you other ladies have been through it, too, to that degree- that I am feeling kind of dizzy. I can't imagine. I just can't. I now understand, having read what you and Amy wrote, just exactly what prompts women to do as you have done: Keep the baby, name it, give it a final resting home. When I lost my two, I was so clueless; I didn't even know for sure I was pregnant. After each of them, my doctors guesstimated that I had been about six weeks along... But all I had was heavy (REALLY heavy) bleeding and big clots. I was sad, certainly, after discovering I had been pregnant, and kind of freaked out that I'd just flushed or thrown away the fetus, but was not faced with what you guys were: Solid evidence in hand of what we'd before only seen on a screen, or visualized in our imagination.

Coupling my small experiences with your painfully big ones, along with the knowledge I've gleaned since then, I can still only touch the tip of the deeply rooted pain you are in. I will offer what I have to give: My ear, my affection, my respect and awe at your strength, and my hands in prayer.

Hug that baby boy to you, Shelly. Our children can be such a balm to our wounds. Let your love for him -and for the lost one- help heal you.

And Amy... If everything happens for a reason, then God intended you to be here at this site, ready to share and counsel and listen to others like Shelly who would unfortunately follow in your footsteps. Give yourself time; a month just is NOT that long! My prayer for you is that your pain recedes more and more every day... And that the next time will be SOON and UNEVENTFUL!!

All of my heart and prayers to both of you this night~

~Thiss.
Me: 35 and holding; DH: 30
Keegan (DS), age 11; Ainslee (DD), age 3; Ash (DS), almost 2
M/C: '95, '04, twice in '07, and now '08. BLEH.
It's a GIRL! Due Dec. 22, 2008
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Postby amyd » Thu Dec 22, 2005 9:48 pm

Thank you Thistle for your beautiful words. Time does heal, and I find that each day does get a little bit easier. I, like Shelly, also have a 2 1/2 (almost 3) year old son. He has been an amazing (to use your words) balm for my wounds. I don't know what I would do without him!

I, too, feel that God led me to this site. I hope that I am giving comfort to some of the women here, because so many of them have been such comfort for me. It has been such a gift to meet the women on this site. I have to say....it is the one good thing that has come out of this horrible experience. If I had never miscarried, I would have never met such beautiful people. I thank God every day for that!

Thank you again for your prayers...my prayers are with you also.

-Amy
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Postby heyruthie » Thu Dec 29, 2005 5:24 pm

Gabesmom,

So sorry you're going through this. I also passed the baby, and it was very traumatic. It happened more than a day after the "rest" of the miscarriage was through. It was very hard on me, and even more traumatic for my DH. He felt as though he *had* to look at the baby, and give it a burial, but he was so scared to do it. He cried a lot. He finally did pay his respects the next day, and we buried the baby, and had a memorial service from the book of Common Prayer. It was a difficult expereince. I'm so sorry you've had to suffer this loss.
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Postby Mom In Waiting » Thu Dec 29, 2005 5:44 pm

To all of you gals on this thread, my heart goes out to you as well. I have lost 3 babies to the tradgety of m/c, my last one being the hardest by far, but not to minimalize the others (as they were very early on and the OB I had at the time did not inform me of the choice of natural m/c vs. dnc.) Now I regret that I had the dnc's, but cannot change the past. My last m/c we found no heartbeat at 15wks! It took another 2 wks to finally pass my baby and I, too watched with horror as something very much larger than the size of a pearl onion passed almost into the toilet. It was by far the most traumatizing thing I have ever gone thru. I imagined when my OB said I could m/c naturally, that when I felt some pains, I'd call him and that I'd meet him at the hospital, but not the case. Everything happened so fast and before I know it I was staring at my precious 4" long baby!!!! All I can truly remember and will never forget was his teeny tiny hands and feet. If you can imagine the tiniest of Barbie dolls (I think her name is Kelley), his hands and feet were that small! I swore that I would have him cremated so I could give him a proper resting place, but in the heat of the moment and all my grief, I didn't ask the hospital to keep him for me and I never got to do so. My heart aches from that still a year later, but as you both have mentioned, my now 3yr old son has been the best medicine for me to help me get thru this last year. I wrote my story here to let you know that there is a happy ending after such an ordeal, (even though you gals are going to ttc agian much sooner thant I did this last time around). Happily, I write to you today, 12wks pregant again, and so far everything is picture perfect!!! I pray for all of you going thru such grief and pain that you will heal and be on the road to ttc again soon. I pray that the Lord blesses you with precious lil ones to hold soon. Hugs, and prayers and many blessings, Cyndi E>
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Postby Thistle » Thu Dec 29, 2005 8:32 pm

Oh, Cyndi. Oh, yikes. I simply cannot imagine. It brings to mind the infamous words of Mother Teresa, when she said, "I know God will never give me more than I can handle. But sometimes I wish he didn't trust me so much!"

I am so so so sorry that you had to endure something like that, so unexpectedly and in such a way. But thank you for sharing your story, for opening your heart and pouring your soul into this board, which has made such a difference to ALL of us, for all the dozens of reasons that we come here. You are all such strong, amazing women!

I feel honored to be a part of this.
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Postby Gabesmom » Thu Dec 29, 2005 10:09 pm

Hi Ladies, It's been a week or so since I've wanted to post. I've been trying to recoup and deal with Christmas (and a hard to please Mother visiting!)

After reading the post from Mom In Waiting, it finally hit me - how else would I have wanted my m/c to happen? This may be so weird or hard to understand, but when I actually caught the little 7 week sac straight out of my body, it was in some weird way, comforting. I was feeling horror and peace at the same time. At that instance I actually thought about all those TLC baby shows where the mom puts her hands between her legs to help deliver her baby. It both saddened me and NOW makes me happy that it was ME who was there.

I in no way judge those who have D&C's. They are the right decision for some. But for me, being able to do it my way, in my time was the right decision for me.

Thank you Mom-In-Waiting for sharing your story. I'm so SO happy for your pregnancy. It gives me hope and makes me smile :)

We don't see enough smiles around here! God bless you and lots of prayers for you this time!! :)O<
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Postby Mom In Waiting » Fri Dec 30, 2005 11:57 pm

Thanks gals, I truly believe that the Lord led me to this site for just this reason.... to bring comfort, prayers, and most of all hope to anyone who needs it. I, too am honored to be a part of so many lives that I'll never even meet. I feel as though we are one big family though, having been thru so much together. Blessings to you all for the new year. Cyndi E>
Angel Baby #1 6/00 (10wks)
Angel Baby #2 1/01 (12wks)
Birth of Samuel Lee 7/26/02!!!!
Angel#3 "Jeremy" 11/04 (17wks)
Alicia Kathryn Born 7/6/06!!!!!
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Re: OMG! I just passed the sac :(

Postby hopefulat40 » Sun Feb 06, 2011 8:16 pm

Ok ladies I need your advice on this one since this is my first home mc. I am about 6 1.2 weeks. Been bleeding since Friday. I had some bad cramps today then was at the grocery store when i felt something and was like uh oh..worries of major leakage. So I got home and in my pad was something sort of like ..I dunno reminds me of sausage casing?? About the length of my thumb. It was just a piece I think. I have a sterile cup from the dr so I put it in there. Not sure if thats the sac I've been waiting for..what do you think? Maybe more to come ? Lots of red blood as well..but not that bad. I've had worse periods. I was scheduled for a d & c in the am but had to reschedule because my husband cant take me and I'm stuck. So I am going in for blood tests in the am and then to see the dr for an U/S. PLEASE let me of passed what I needed to so no d&c. It would be my third. Dr is concerned that it could still be an ectopic pregnancy..this weird kind where there is a sac in the uterus. Otherwise they are thinking its a blighted ovum. Would love some feeback on this... :H
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