Stephanie's Story - Light bleeding. Then re-absorption.

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Stephanie's Story - Light bleeding. Then re-absorption.

Postby Sstutler » Thu Mar 05, 2015 9:48 pm

I'm posting here today because apparently my experience is not the norm. But it can happen. Because it happened to me.

On January 28th - I expected a period. However that entire month since January 13th or so I had an off feeling. I wasn't as hungry as I normally am and I was having some swelling with my fingers. (none of my rings fit) Also my hair was dry (not normal) and my breasts were super tender. We had been trying for 10 months to get pregnant with our third and final child. And I began to suspect maybe we had succeeded.

On January 28th I took one test in the morning, which confirmed I was pregnant. Then I took two more including a digital to show DH later that day, both positive. I surprised hubby with a baby bottle filled with his chosen beverage at dinner that night.

We were elated.

On February 6, I started having some light brown spotting. I had no pain and it seemed like nothing to worry about. On Saturday the brown spotting turned to rust brown spotting on Saturday afternoon before quickly switching over to a medium flow with bright red bleeding. I went to the ER. They did an U/S which revealed a gestational sac much smaller than the age I should have been based on my LMP. They took my HCG which revealed a level of 248 and also did a pelvic exam. The ER Dr. said my cervix was closed, but more than likely I was miscarrying. Since based on my LMP- I should have had much higher HCG levels and showing a Sac on U/S would have revealed higher numbers as well. He wanted for me see my Dr. On Monday for additional HCG testing.

Monday I had my levels re-checked. They went up 20 points to 268. The exam was not performed within 48 complete hours and I felt cheated. When I met with my Dr. he said he was sure this was an abnormal pregnancy. I felt like he had made a mistake, you can follow my other story all about that process on my other post (Playing the Waiting Game on the Waiting to Miscarry board) Since my levels went up, I felt he was wrong.

I had my levels checked 10 days later. They had decreased to 90. I kept waiting for "The flood" to happen with the pain and cramping. I was very fearful it would happen at work. I became depressed (still am on some days) and the term "normal day" began to take on a new meaning.

I met with my Dr again today. This Saturday will be 1 month since the bleeding began and I went into the ER. I asked my Dr about when I should expect "The Flood" he said I shouldn't. He said the bleeding I had when I went to the ER was likely my miscarriage and I should expect my next bleeding to be my period. He said more than likely all the other contents were retained and re-absorbed into my lining. He said its actually quite common. I'm now relieved to hear this. And am now looking forward to continuing this journey. His reasoning being that my HCG level had dropped to 9.

We named our angel baby Charlee Zowe. It's hard to accept everything these days. I was hardly past the stage of realizing I was pregnant, before the bleeding began. For that whole month I had signs, and I would ask myself.. "Why are my breasts so tender/stomach hurt in the morning/heartburn at night from everything I eat... and then I would remember I was pregnant. Something about this baby never felt right. I never had to remind myself I was pregnant with my first two kiddos. But the signs were so strong. I craved cookies and whipped cream. The only reason we think it was a girl, which breaks my heart even more, because I have two healthy boys and want a daughter so badly. I know some people frown on gender selection or only wanting a certain gender. But come on. I'm the only girl in the house! Even the dog is a boy! LOL.

We plan to honor Charlee's memory with jewelry. I purchased a necklace from http://www.labelledame.com for my friend who suffered a miscarriage earlier last year, and was very happy with the pricing and quality of the necklace. So DH and I have decided to again purchase from them. I plan to get the "Baby Tears" necklace if you take a look. Its personal. It doesn't have baby feet on it, which to be honest, make me cry right now. It's to honor Charlee. And unless you know what you are looking for, you would never know. For those of you reading this and going thru the same thing. I'm so very sorry. Know that most first trimester miscarriages happen because of abnormalities with the chromosomes. It's likely nothing you did or didn't do. So try not to blame yourself. I have had to accept that for myself as well. I thought I may have caused it by putting too much stress on myself. Or by working too much. I still think about it sometimes, and wonder if things had been different that week, if things would have turned out differently. The Dr says no. He maintains that the amount of stress that would cause a miscarriage would need to be a death or something significant to that effect. Which does give me a sense of peace. I also took my prenatal vitamins every day. I also made sure I was hydrated by drinking enough water. I also avoided caffeine and chocolate. I also heated my lunch meat and never ate sushi. But this still happened to me, just like it happened to you. We both did all we could. ((HUGS)) In time I hope we both find our "NEW normal"
Sstutler
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