So confused about everything

This forum is to share our miscarriage stories and, in so doing, help others

So confused about everything

Postby jorji » Wed Mar 19, 2014 10:07 am

I had a check up vaginal u/s on the 10th march, which showed no fetal pole, only the yolk sac which was present 3 weeks before. I should be about 7/8 weeks pregnant approx - I had a missed miscarriage in December and no period before falling pregnant again, so can't check any dates. I was told to prepare myself for miscarriage (again!) and that they were very sorry. I opted to wait a week to miscarry naturally like I did last time.
I went in again on 17th March for a chat because I have booked myself in for SMM on the 19th march, and I wanted to find out a bit more about the surgery before I did it. I also have concerns because I almost feel more pregnant now (really sore boobs, morning sickness, metallic taste in my mouth, sore back, extreme tiredness etc) than what I did before we found out anything was wrong and had NO miscarriage symptoms. When I miscarried in December, I had immediate spotting after seeing the u/s of our perfect 8 week old baby (minus heartbeat) and miscarried properly 6 days later, whilst experiencing moderate spotting and moderate period period pain within those 6 days.
So I went in expecting to chat but the sonographer called me in for more scans, she nailed why I was anxious about the SMM - I had no miscarriage symptoms - how can everything be wrong if I feel so right?! She assured me that they are all very well trained and have lots of experience and reassured me that they will just double check everything before Surgery. Well she discovered a fetal pole which was measuring about 6 weeks (I should be 8/9 weeks approx) that according to my boyfriend and previous sonographers' reports WAS NOT THERE the previous week. She muttered under her breath that this was a dilemma and called in another sonographer to look. They whispered at each other for about 5-10 minutes before I was shown the screen and told that this was definitely a fetal pole but unfortunately they cannot see a heartbeat and it is measuring a few weeks behind schedule, so unfortunately they think it is another missed miscarriage. I was in shock because we were told last week that there was no baby and now there is?! How can they miss such obvious things? I asked if the baby could have developed in the last week and they said that that was highly unlikely. She disappeared to get confirmation from a midwife who also unfortunately confirmed there was no hope, this was definitely a missed miscarriage again. I was told a midwife would speak to me about everything and was taken to a room to wait.
I frantically text my boyfriend who said surely this is impossible!?! The sonographer appeared moments later with yet another miscarriage leaflet (I swear I have millions of them at home now) and with an appointment for another u/s in 2 weeks time (31st March). She said that I should probably miscarry within that time. I asked her what I should do about the surgery booked for Wednesday and she said she would cancel it for me as I didn't seem like I was able to go through with it anyway. She said her goodbyes, gave me all the papers and left. I now wish I had demanded to speak to a midwife about everything because I am so confused and have no idea whether I am coming or going. I now also have this tiny flicker of hope that this will be our miracle baby and that's so unfair because it will be dashed on the 31st. I have since had no miscarriage symptoms and still have very sore boobs, metallic taste, tiredness and backpain, the morning sickness is starting to come and go, but it did that before we found out anything was wrong. I feel like I am in limbo.
Is there anyone who has experienced something similar who could shed some light (and possibly hope) on my situation.
Thank you - deepest sympathies to those who have experienced miscarriage too, it is a torture that none of us should be subjected too.
<3
jorji
<b> </b>
<b> </b>
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Mar 19, 2014 9:28 am

Re: So confused about everything

Postby Kay » Wed Mar 19, 2014 3:49 pm

I am so sorry you are going through this scare. They have scared you too soon. Fortunately, one week after the fetal pole is viewed, you should see the heartbeat if the pregnancy is viable and indeed we've had women here go on to find their babies. I don't know if that is the case with you but there is certainly hope. Hang in there. Have that ultrasound a week out and I do hope you report back with better news!
-------------------------------
To read my own Misdiagnosed Miscarriage stories:
my blighted ovum scare
Told I was miscarrying at 12 weeks

Blogging on Misdiagnosed Miscarriages
If you are being diagnosed with a blighted ovum after IVF, please take a look at this article I put together: Misdiagnosed Miscarriage After IVF
and why I just believe a blighted ovum should NOT be diagnosed before nine weeks at the earliest and the UK's new guidelines support this


This post is for informational purposes only. This information is not intended to replace information given by your physician but rather intended to supplement that information.
User avatar
Kay
Moderator
Moderator
 
Posts: 7777
Joined: Sat Feb 19, 2005 4:38 pm

Re: So confused about everything

Postby jorji » Fri Mar 28, 2014 4:50 pm

Thanks Kay for all the support/ hope that you and this website has given me,
Sadly I am not to be one of the lucky ones, I started bleeding a few days ago, and am experiencing the same miscarriage pain as I did in December (nothing like period pain in my experience might I add) This time we're prepared for what's to come and have bought co-codamol to help with the pain. The hospital will have some explaining to do, as to why they missed the fetal pole to start with. We need some questions answered, as it is very hard for myself to move on - I want to know why they won't help me until after 3 miscarriages. Doing it once was bad enough, twice is making me question myself as a woman (why can't I do the most natural thing in the world?!) and I'm not sure I can cope doing it a third time. It makes me angry because I am young, fit and healthy they refuse to help. If I was in my fourties I should be offered help as 'time would not be on our side'. Because I want to have children young (ish - i'm 24) I may have to suffer more. I imagine these rules are set in place by men who have never had to experience a loved one go through a miscarriage.
People say I will end up appreciating my children more as I have had to wait, but I do not feel like I need to be taught this lesson - I would appreciate my kids regardless of how many miscarriages I have - I will NOT be deterred - I WAS BORN TO BE A MUM. I am not the one who needs to be shown how inspirational and amazing and loving children are. I am hurt and angry at the injustice of it all, and I'm worried that one more miscarriage might tip me over the edge.
Sorry, this was meant to be a quick thank you and update and has turned into quite an emotional rant. I get it - Life's not fair. I know someone has to take the bad so others can get the good, Karma, etc. I just honestly don't think I have done anything bad in my life that I deserve this 'punishment' for.
My thoughts are with all those other unfortunate women suffering at this time.
I wish that next time we all strike gold. <3 xx
jorji
<b> </b>
<b> </b>
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Mar 19, 2014 9:28 am

Re: So confused about everything

Postby Kay » Fri Mar 28, 2014 4:53 pm

My heart just hurts for you. You know what, I totally get what you are saying. People don't realize how insensitive those comments can be. I also get bugged when doctors tell women they have to go through three miscarriages before it is taken seriously. Just one miscarriage is awful enough.

Praying for you and a huge (((hug)))
-------------------------------
To read my own Misdiagnosed Miscarriage stories:
my blighted ovum scare
Told I was miscarrying at 12 weeks

Blogging on Misdiagnosed Miscarriages
If you are being diagnosed with a blighted ovum after IVF, please take a look at this article I put together: Misdiagnosed Miscarriage After IVF
and why I just believe a blighted ovum should NOT be diagnosed before nine weeks at the earliest and the UK's new guidelines support this


This post is for informational purposes only. This information is not intended to replace information given by your physician but rather intended to supplement that information.
User avatar
Kay
Moderator
Moderator
 
Posts: 7777
Joined: Sat Feb 19, 2005 4:38 pm

Remembrance Jewelry, Memorial Keepsakes
My Forever Child

Return to Our Miscarriage Stories

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest