this miscarriage was easier than the last one.

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this miscarriage was easier than the last one.

Postby dylanfreak76 » Wed Apr 07, 2010 2:50 pm

this miscarriage happened in the 4th week, which is barely pregnant at all, so it is just like having a regular, heavy period.

I just wiped yesterday, and noticed bleeding which proceeded to get darker over the course of the day.

Last night some bigger clots were passed and I think that was the main part of my miscarriage.

I have lost hope that I will ever have a baby again. there is something wrong with me this time around.
Jessica.. Mother to 5 beautiful Earthlings and 1 Angelic Son and now 3 tiny beings gone to Heaven also.

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Postby pinkfacade » Wed Apr 07, 2010 8:55 pm

:( i am sorry for you loss. i just miscarried today.
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Postby dylanfreak76 » Wed Apr 07, 2010 10:55 pm

It is the most loathsome feeling. The most depressing. What is wrong with me is what I ask myself as I lie in bed in depression, numb, barely caring to do a thing at all. Food has no flavor. Life has no zing. Not right now anyway. I absolutely hate going from the bliss of pregnancy to the void of loss. It makes me sick to imagine going through this again and again.

I don't know what to do. I'm sorry to hear we are miscarrying at the same time. It looks like you're as blue as me. :(
Jessica.. Mother to 5 beautiful Earthlings and 1 Angelic Son and now 3 tiny beings gone to Heaven also.

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Postby pinkfacade » Thu Apr 08, 2010 8:11 am

yes, i felt like that for 2 weeks ( i knew i was going to miscarry before i did...lucky on my part so i could start the grieving process earlier ) so by the time i misarried i was just able to concentrate on the miscarriage and not so much the emotional aspect....it is still awful and i would give ANYTHING to ahve my baby back.....but i guess god didn't have plans for that....i'm not a religous person.....but thats what i keep thinking....it will get better though nothing can take away the loss.
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Postby shastep » Tue Apr 13, 2010 1:39 pm

:(O :(O I am so sorry babe!
expecting baby #6 11-3-11
5 HH children ~ 3 Angel babies
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Postby dylanfreak76 » Tue Apr 13, 2010 4:35 pm

thank you very much. I am so sad and sick and tired of miscarriage, already! And I've only had 2 in a row. Some poor ladies have more than that in a row with no successful pregnancies at all. So, I hate to be selfish and complain too much since I've had 6 kids, but it doesn't make my miscarriages any easier to me. I haven't had a baby in over 6 years and I really want one, before it's too late for me and my partner, and now I don't know if we're going to get that chance.

I'm trying not to worry about it too much and focus my thoughts elsewhere like eating right, exercising, and taking care of the "babies" I do have, but I know I'm just blocking the miscarriages out. I'm still just as terrified now of the aspect of getting pregnant again and losing it again, God forbid at 9 or 10 weeks, when it's really hard!

Pregnancy is staring to be synonymous with doom and the closest I get to my little babies is the pink line on the test indicating they're there.
Jessica.. Mother to 5 beautiful Earthlings and 1 Angelic Son and now 3 tiny beings gone to Heaven also.

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Postby pinkfacade » Tue Apr 13, 2010 9:53 pm

yeah....i can see thinking that about the pink lines....and now if i ever get pregnant again i'm going to be terrified of loosing the baby.......i was ignorant to that feeling my first pregnancy. i never thought it was going to happen to me,etc.
i was 11 weeks when i lost my baby but it hadn't developed for quite some time....prob 7 weeks or earlier. we don't know. never saw anything....but 4 days after i had my COMPLETE miscarriage i passed something and i wasn't sure what it was....but it was pretty big i'm guessing a piece of placenta that they somehow missed , i guess bc of my tilted uterus!
its hard to think of myself as a mother of two but only have one child :(
i can't imagine having gone through as many m/c as you....or as many children! i wish i could have a million babies. i love being a mom :)
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Postby dylanfreak76 » Tue Apr 13, 2010 10:17 pm

I totally felt the same exact way that you did, that miscarriage wasn't going to happen to me and enjoyed the ignorant bliss of pregnancy..

I was at 9 weeks, but the baby measured 7. We never saw anything either. I thought everything was through and then a big "blurb" of something came out.. I think it was the placenta. But I was so emotionally wrecked that I didn't do much investigating.. That baby was due on it's daddy's birthday so I was particularly devastated to be losing it, all of a sudden.

Yes, 2 miscarriages so far and 1 son who passed away at age 2 3/4 years because of his disabilities..

Being a mom is the most natural thing on Earth. I love it, too. I don't mind being the mother of a whole litter, I've gotten used to it and past the negative comments.
Jessica.. Mother to 5 beautiful Earthlings and 1 Angelic Son and now 3 tiny beings gone to Heaven also.

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Postby pinkfacade » Wed Apr 14, 2010 11:06 pm

aw i'm so sorry to hear that about your little boy. i don't know what i would do if anything happened to my baby girl who is 2......i don't think i'd even want to live.

good luck if you are trying again xox
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Postby dylanfreak76 » Thu Apr 15, 2010 12:05 am

Thanks, it was hard. Much harder than either miscarriage, that's for sure! Sometimes I wonder if his birth/life/death was a teaching and learning experience for me from God because before his birth I didn't believe in anything.. I'm still not "over it" 13 years later...

I'm not really consciously trying again.. but then again, I never am consciously trying and it still happens. The lover brought home progesterone cream tonight so I wonder if that's a hint? lol
Jessica.. Mother to 5 beautiful Earthlings and 1 Angelic Son and now 3 tiny beings gone to Heaven also.

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