D & C last Fri/No fetal hb/Severe doubts/Please Help!

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D & C last Fri/No fetal hb/Severe doubts/Please Help!

Postby Fruitful » Mon Mar 01, 2010 6:41 pm

D & C last Fri/No fetal hb/Severe doubts/Please Help!

Hello, I am a 39 yo mother of six. Our family: my husband and I and our children ranging from 14-2 went to my first OB appt. last wed. 2/24/10 full of excitement-five days ago! I have had perfectly healthy pregnancies, never a problem.

After all of the formalities, urine sample, blood work, etc., I was taken to the ultrasound room for a vaginal ultrasound (on my very first OB appointment-that’s never happened before!) which my Dr. preformed. (It has always been a lone ultrasound tech. before not my Dr. and two nurses-were they suspecting something due to my urine sample?)

As my three daughters and I looked on, amazed by the perfectly formed baby with visible fingers and toes, suddenly, a nurse whisked the girls out of the room and called for my husband.

My Dr. told me in private that there was no heartbeat and showed me where it should have been. By the time my husband came into the dark room, I was a devastated.

The baby did not seem to be moving. I have always noticed at least a little movement and could detect none.

We gathered everybody together, the girls were sobbing and praying. We then went next door for another ultrasound at the hospital. An hour later, the results were the same. They even did a type of color-coding to show where there is blood flow in the placenta and baby. There were only two blue spots on the outer wall of the placenta that was supposed to indicate blood flow. Can anyone tell me about this type of detection? It is the only thing that reassures me that the baby had died. Otherwise, I feel like I may have killed my baby.

I have a couple of ultrasound pictures of her, one of my greatest treasures.

We decided to have the D & C two days later, last Friday, 2/26/10. I wish I had waited. Being as health conscious as I am, and skeptical of conventional medicine, I should have done more research. I was scared of complications. I was scared of having a miscarriage at home and endangering my life. I was shocked. (My Dr. planted the seed of fear by telling me of all of the horrible things that could happen to me with too much blood loss.) My greatest fear in life is leaving my six children prematurely without a mother.

Therefore, Thursday, I thought I had better move on and have the procedure and find closure. We made the appt. for Friday. It was done and I was home by 3PM.

Then, a friend that meant well told me Saturday that she was told to have a D & C at 11 weeks because there was no heartbeat and they found it two weeks later. That child is now six. It absolutely shook me to my core.

I have been digging for info. ever since and found this site. I cannot believe I did not wait to have the D & C. I did not even have a single indication that my body was beginning the process. I should have at least waited for a sign.
Still, I trusted God, people were praying for us. We were devastated, both my husband and I and our children. We wanted this baby so badly. We love children, that is why we have a large family. The kids were keeping track of the growth charts weekly to see how the baby was developing. It was exciting!

It has ONLY BEEN FIVE DAYS since this began! My world has been turned upside down. I am ok one minute, very levelheaded in my faith and trust in the Lord and yet, moments later I just do not know what to do with myself!

Fortunately, we were able to leave the hospital Friday with the remains of our child and all the surrounding tissue. THIS WAS THE FIRST TIME THE HOSPITAL HAD DONE THAT! THEY SAID NOONE HAD EVER ASKED FOR THE REMAINS BEFORE! It has helped us a lot to find closure knowing she is with us and not just vanished. She was placed in a sealed box, her casket. We never looked inside. We buried the casket Saturday afternoon in our backyard, right outside of our bedroom window. We dug a hole for a tree we bought and dug a smaller hole at the base of that hole for the casket. We prayed, read a poem my husband had written that morning, cried and all placed handfuls of soil on the casket. We placed the tree on top of that and buried it appropriately. It is an Ace of Hearts Redbud tree. We live in Oklahoma so I hope it grows well. It has pink flowers and heart shaped leaves. We are going to plant bleeding hearts and lily of the valley plants around the base and place a stepping stone with her name on it.

We named our dear child Rachel Annette meaning beautiful, favored with grace. We chose to name our child based on our gut feeling. It will not affect the eternal scheme of things if we are wrong on the sex but it sure helps to personalize and memorialize her short life with us, our dreams for her and our hope of holding her in glory one day. She got to see Jesus first!

If I ever get pg again, I pray I will have learned from this or it can help others out there. Be patient and wait to be absolutely sure. I will never be absolutely sure until I enter the gates of glory and meet my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and embrace my child.

I have ordered a report of my ultrasound from the hospital.

Questions I have for my Dr. at my next appointment in three weeks:
Tell me about:
The fetal pole
Tipped uterus
Misdiagnosis odds
Color coding in the ultrasound
My official report
Is heartbeat detection at 9 week too early? What if I implanted at day 11, which is when I spotted? Maybe that is why I measured smaller.

I measured 9 weeks 2 days. I was actually 9 weeks 6 days. NOT a big discrepancy in my mind!! I have ALWAYS measured small but usually later in pregnancy!
Fruitful
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Peace

Postby Sarahwas90 » Tue Mar 02, 2010 1:58 pm

Fruitful

Hi. I'm so sorry to hear what you've been going through.

I've just recently been through about the same thing. We saw a heartbeat at 6 weeks, then none at 8 weeks. I asked many questions. I asked if there could even be the slightest chance that the baby might be fine or the equipment could be faulty somehow. I even went back 4 days later for them to look again. Still no blood flow, no heart beat. I prayed that God would make clear the truth of this situation. The technician is a Christian. She assured me several times that the baby was gone. Also by this time I was spotting heavily. The doctors advised me to have a D&C to avoid infection. My pregnancy symptoms were gone and I knew in my heart it was over.

I pray that God gives you peace. I believe that your and my little one is in His arms. Also Fruitful, God knows the beginning from the end and He knows your heart. He loves you so much! I'll be praying for you.
With God all things are possible.
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Thank You

Postby Fruitful » Tue Mar 02, 2010 6:45 pm

Your words are very touching. I just never know when I seem to be fine emotionally and then I find something like your kind words that bring me to tears. Then the hospital called awhile ago when I was in the bathroom to check in to see how I was doing. That brought me to tears.

I consider myself a very strong person, esp. for a woman! It just makes me realize how sensitive I really am.

I wonder how long it will last.

I wonder how long before it's safe to try for a baby again. We would like to.

Thank you,
Jelaine (Fruitful)
Fruitful
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Hope

Postby Sarahwas90 » Wed Mar 03, 2010 1:39 pm

Hi again Jelaine,

We would like to have another as well. I'm 40 years old. When I was 33 years old I didn't have any children. God gave me the name "Samuel". Soon after, my ex-husband left me for another woman. I kept thinking, "What about Samuel, LORD?" God brought Tom into my life soon after my divorce. We were married when I was 35 (almost 36).

We waited to try to have a baby until after I got back from India. We tried for a year and a half and finally got pregnant. At 12 months, I went to the OB for a standard visit. There was no heart beat. The doctor said that we had lost that baby at 8 weeks. We were shocked and so sad.

Three months later, we were pregnant again - this time it was with Samuel. I was 38 when I had Samuel. Soon after, I was praying, "What if we have another boy, LORD? What should we name him?". Then I realized how silly I was being - after all Samuel was only 2 weeks old. "Never mind LORD - I'll focus on this little one You've given us." Then I heard, "Nathaniel".

Well, now I'm 40. It's taken us quite awhile to get pregnant again. Last year around this time I had a chemical pregnancy - I lost the baby shortly after implantation. It was so hard losing this little one at 8 weeks. I'm struggling with fear about trying again, but I don't want to give up.

We also have the name Serah if we have a girl.

Anyway, I'll keep praying for you Jelaine. You sound like such a good and caring mom!

Kristyn (Sarahwas90)
With God all things are possible.
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Thank you for sharing again!

Postby Fruitful » Wed Mar 03, 2010 2:45 pm

Your story is another reminder of the faith we have and hope in Christ; thank you for sharing.

Here's part of our story too.

I decided yesterday to let God have my womb once and for all. I got to thinking about our ups and downs with using birth control. I've always been of the free-will-leaning-toward-complete-abandon in this area yet we've taken control many times.

I think the Lord may have used this situation to show me how much I really do want his blessings; that every child is a gift. Now I'm crying out for a complete recovery and blessed womb.

I am a home school mom of six (3 of each) in Edmond, OK. We moved here Aug. 1 from Colorado Springs, CO. It's been a very busy year. I was absolutely positive that I was done right up until a couple weeks before we got pregnant on 12/27, which was still a surprise yet I was entertaining the idea of another then. I got pg. on day 10 of my cycle when I was always fertile on about day 14. So, I knew it was a gift of God and we were so excited. We figured that, if NFP wasn't good enough, God was intervening. (Still, we had used barrier methods on my peak days when we had relations.)

Anyway, I had lost all of my pre-pregnancy weight, was looking good and my husband couldn't keep his hands off of me. It was fun. Still, I thought, it was not worth the effort when, in my heart, I, and the family, longed for another baby.

A few books that might help you are, Taking Charge of Your Fertility that comes with software to track your cycle in depth, and Shonda Parkers books on womanhood, pregnancy, raising kids naturally, etc. Her website is http://www.naturallyhealthy.org/. She is a christian, herbalist, midwife, etc.

Thank you once again for just being there. What city are you in?
Jelaine
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Postby Sarahwas90 » Thu Mar 04, 2010 1:13 pm

I praise God that He used me at all to minister to you :)
Thank you for ministering to me as well.

Wow - six kids - praise God! That's so wonderful that you're home-schooling. We've discussed this too. We're praying about it. Samuel's almost 2 - It's hard to say where we'll be in three years. I have my masters in art education. I'm not currently teaching, but have been keeping up my license.

I work full time and my husband stays home with Samuel. When I was pregnant with Samuel, my husband caught a nasty blood virus that started to eat away the lining of his heart. God has healed him a lot. He's not able to go back into restaurant management. His degree is in Theology (non-accredited). So I'm currently bringing home the bacon. We were planning on our roles being reversed, but have accepted that this is what God has for us to do currently. I'm just glad Tom's alive and getting better.

I love how you said that you're praying for a blessed womb - I've been praying that God would bless my womb too since reading your post.

Thank you for the information about the book.

We live in Akron, OH.

Kristyn
With God all things are possible.
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Re: D & C last Fri/No fetal hb/Severe doubts/Please Help!

Postby Fruitful » Sat Jan 08, 2011 8:56 am

Hi Kristyn,
I've been thinking of you and wondering how you are. We have not gotten pg. since we lost our baby in Feb. but have moved on with life's happenings and have been blessed. I just thought I would say Hi and let you know the Lord led me to think of you this week.
Soli Deo Gloria!
Jelaine
Fruitful
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Re: D & C last Fri/No fetal hb/Severe doubts/Please Help!

Postby Sarahwas90 » Mon Jan 17, 2011 1:08 pm

Hi Jelaine! I think about you from time to time as well. After that miscarriage, I asked the doctor to please run tests to see if there was anything going on with my body and they found out that I have Lieden Factor 5 and low folate levels. I'm on aspirin and extra folic acid now and we are almost 15 weeks pregant - Praise God! My next doctor appointment is Wed. - I'm a little nervous because I've been sick with viruses twice since our last appointment - I just want to hear that little heart-beat! Thank you for your prayers. I'm very encouraged! God bless you!
With God all things are possible.
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Re: D & C last Fri/No fetal hb/Severe doubts/Please Help!

Postby Sarahwas90 » Wed Aug 24, 2011 7:27 am

Dear Jelaine,

How are you doing? I wanted to let you know that we had Nathanael on July 5 of this year - he is now 7 weeks old. Thank you again for your prayers. I hope all is well with you and your family.
With God all things are possible.
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