Gah! Know M/C is coming, but no longer spotting/cramping...

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Gah! Know M/C is coming, but no longer spotting/cramping...

Postby jer3227 » Wed Dec 16, 2009 1:18 pm

Hey ladies-

I'm having a tough time waiting it out. I know that I'm going to M/C and have come to terms with that. (You can read my story here: http://www.misdiagnosedmiscarriage.com/mycommunity/viewtopic.php?t=15384 )

Slight background: 9w1d today. Have a blighted ovum and now collapsing gestational sac as well as dropping hormones.

However, after spotting since last Wednesday and having mild cramping/bleeding on Sunday, I have barely had any spotting yesterday and none today. And, no cramps. Seriously- this is agonizing. I just want to get it over with, but I don't want to have surgery if I don't have to. After reading many of the M/C stories, it seems like once the spotting starts, it doesn't really stall out.

Anyone have this happen to them? If so, how long did you have to wait for the M/C to finally happen? I'm trying to will my body into letting go of the collapsing, empty sac within me, but to no avail....
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Postby dylanfreak76 » Mon Dec 21, 2009 6:27 pm

Hi there. You may have already read some of my posts, but it took me 4 days to fully miscarry a baby that stopped growing 2 weeks ago.

I guess if I would have found out a couple of weeks ago, the wait would have been 2 1/2 weeks long. Since I only found out when I went in when the bleeding first started, I had a shorter, miserable wait.

The good news is that at this stage your chances of having a natural miscarriage are good. A midwife prescribed me a few days worth of pain relief, percocet (sp?) which has been a godsend.

I am only even slightly positive and upbeat at this stage thinking we will be trying again in a few months and hoping for success next time. If it doesn't happen, well, I am still way too lucky for the kids that I have been blessed(!!!!) to carry to feel too sorry for myself (even though I still do.)

I really wanted my little baby. I really still want another little baby. And I really feel for those who have had multiple losses. I cannot imagine going through this two and three or more times.. My God.

Except for losing my disabled son when he was nearly 3 years old already, this has been one of the saddest times of my life. I know I'm depressed. I haven't been "myself" since finding out 6 days ago and already feel like the hubby is giving me looks while I lie in bed like "when are you going to get up and get it together?"

Anyway, sorry this got so long. Emotional like crazy right now.

Peace and blessings,
Jessica
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Postby jer3227 » Tue Dec 22, 2009 5:24 pm

Thanks for the reply dylanfreak76. I'm sorry for your loss. Even though I wouldn't wish this on anyone, I must say I'm a little jealous that you have already gone through your miscarriage. Man- that sounds so freaking bizarre and down right kooky. Unfortunately, I am still waiting. Actually, I thought that it was finally going to happen this afternoon- I have been cramping all morning- more intensely than ever before, though not unbearable. I've progressed from spotting to actual bleeding in the last few days, especially when I use the bathroom, and am passing little tiny clots. However, my cramps seemed to have stalled out- they were coming every 10 minutes or so, but now.......NADA. I left work at lunch since I didn't want to be there when the truly intense cramping began. Now, I wish I would have stayed since it seems to have been a false alarm.

I swear, I'm going nuts. I've come to terms with the loss but am having a hard time with the whole, "I AM STILL PREGNANT EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT REALLY PREGNANT!" thing. What makes me feel really insane is that I was actually *happy* when I thought that I was going to have closure today. Yeah- what kind of twisted freak am I?? Waiting really sucks. It'll be 2 weeks tomorrow that I found out I had a blighted ovum. I'm 10w exactly today.

I wish you the very best through this very difficult time. You are not alone.
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Postby dylanfreak76 » Tue Dec 22, 2009 7:44 pm

jer3227
Dear jer3227, I guess I wasn't finished after all. Today (forgive me if this is more than you want to hear) an unexpected something or the other plopped out of me... and now I'm back to bleeding pretty well. It had been tapering off.. So depressing.

I totally understand what you mean about the wait killing you and wanting closure. You are NOT a twisted freak, girlie. Get this, I was actually EXCITED one day that I could put my regular pants back on! I think these are coping mechanisms for us.

Last night I was a ball of tears and couldn't even say "miscarriage" without freaking out.

So, up and down, up and down.

2 weeks is a long time to wait. Like I said, I was not in the know for much of the time my baby was gone so my wait time was only 4 days and they were still the longest of my life.

Thanks for your good wishes. Every single one I hear means a lot.

I hope you don't have to wait too much longer for your closure!

Jessica
Jessica.. Mother to 5 beautiful Earthlings and 1 Angelic Son and now 3 tiny beings gone to Heaven also.

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