I think I killed my baby

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I think I killed my baby

Postby pueypuey » Wed Feb 10, 2010 3:06 am

This story is not made to blame anyone but myself, as a mother.

I found out I was pregnant in December and I had my first ultrasound in Jan at around week 6. The doctor mentioned I have tilted uterus but nothing to worry about. Everything seemed great, the yolk sac and the fetal was there with heartbeat.

I took care of myself as best as I can during that period and no trouble happened till the next visit to the doctor.

I had the second ultrasound at week 10. The yolk sac was still there but the fetal was gone. The doctor concluded it was a blighted ovum which is 40-50% cause of miscarriage and told me to do D&C.

I was in shock at the moment I listened to the doctor and looked for my baby on the screen. How could it be since I felt nothing is wrong at all? I still had morning sick and gas and a lot of throw ups everyday as a normal mom-to-be. It was my first pregnancy and I had no idea what to do in such case. I called my husband for suggestion and we decided to believe what the doctor suggested though it broke my heart.

The doctor put some medication in me to get rid of whatever in my womb. Late that night, it started to cramp badly. I was bleeding and cried with pain. Suddenly, something like bloody jelly came out from me. Curious to know, I put on the gloves and check it throughly for 10 minutes to find out that I think I just killed my baby.

What in front of me was, I believe, an 5-7 cm long embryo. I saw its two dark eyes, redish jelly skin, and something white on spine-to-be area.

Since I had no medical background, I was not so sure if it was the embryo. I called my husband but he seemed not to believe me and told me it might be just some tissue. I continued bleeding and my womb continuedto cramp untill I fell asleep by the help of pain-killer.

The next morning, I went to see the doctor again. Everything was fine so far but I couldnt stop thinking of what I saw. Is it possible? How could an experienced doctor who specialized in OB and ultrasould would misdiagnose miscarriage? I started to search for information on internet and I found this website www.misdiagnosedmiscarriage.com/

I found that there are many cases that the doctor misdiagnose for blighted ovum but those strong mothers who will never let anyone kill their babies are smart enough to get second opinion or wait for few weeks and they FOUND THE BABY!!! one of them found it for the first time at week 18 while the doctor sugeested to do D&C at week 12!!! The cause of misdiagnosis for blighted ovum was unknown but we belive that tilted uterus may cause the failure of ultrasound or the fetal may lie pararell to the beam.

I am disappointd in myself and my decision making. I did D&C as doctor suggested because
1. I totally trusted in the hospital and the doctor
2. I was afraid that if I wait, my uterus will have trouble and it will effect my next pregnant
Those were too stupid, I should have trusted myself and tried my best to save the baby

I think I killed my baby because
1. I think I am healthy, I got pregnant as soon as I wanted to, the ultrasound shows I have healthy womb and ovaries
2. Nothing went wrong during my pregnant
3. I SAW IT!!!

However, as I mentioned above, this story is not made to blame anyone but myself. I would like to share my experience to every mom-to-be that if such a case happen to you, DO NOT GIVE UP. Wait and search for second or third opinion.

Hope this story will save some lifes.[/b]
pueypuey
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Postby babysham » Thu Feb 11, 2010 8:09 am

I blame your doctor for putting so much sudden pressure on you! Thanks for being so honest at such a heart wrenching time. Take time and read stories on here and you'll see you're not alone in your case.
The doctor should have waited and done further tests.You are a first time mum and learning and you'll realise you weren't the only one to have a D&c.
You need to ask the doctor what was wrong with the baby and why this was an option. For peace of mind if not happy with this seek the advice of another consultant, tell them exactly whst you saw in the tissue and ask for some logical explanatiion.
I will pray for you :H and I know that you will be successful in concieveing again.Don't give up hope and most importantly forgive yourself. You never willfully killed your baby.IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT!

love, healing ad baby dust to you. x :)O
Baby Sienna Lee,'born sleeping' 12/12/05,chemical preg's 3/06,07,missed miscarriage at 10 wks-7/08

I have recieved my miracle! Baby Carmella is such a comfort and joy.
Never give up on the dreams and promises God gives to you.

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Thank you

Postby pueypuey » Thu Feb 11, 2010 11:25 pm

Thank you for your support. I decided I'll tell the doctor for what happened to me no matter he will believe it or not. At least, even if he doesn't believe me, I hope he'll be more careful next time.
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Postby babysham » Sun Feb 14, 2010 3:08 pm

I think you should look into changing your doctor! I'll never forget the negligent midwife I had 5 years ago. I've never seen her face since because I kept it that way!
Your next baby desrves the best care possible.....and a more patient doctor. Just think about this.God Bless.
Baby Sienna Lee,'born sleeping' 12/12/05,chemical preg's 3/06,07,missed miscarriage at 10 wks-7/08

I have recieved my miracle! Baby Carmella is such a comfort and joy.
Never give up on the dreams and promises God gives to you.

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Postby nalatie » Fri Feb 19, 2010 3:50 pm

My story is very similar I too saw what you saw except for the eyes, but i didnt look as thoroughly (I found this site after) n just thought that would be normal except bigger than i thought,around 10cm. I conceived around 1st dec, bled 2 spots nothing much wasnt too worried but dr sent me for scan anyway. I had scans every wk which showed the sacs growing but nothing in them. I was told to expect to miscarry at my scan around 6wks, went back at 8 wks with no bleeding and pregnancy symptoms still going strong. Nothing there still so told to consider medical or surgical treatment. I went for medical treatment 30/1/10 so around 10wks. The scans were showing twins but this only passed 1 of them, which is what I saw. Now I have opted for surgical treatment which is tomorrow for the other one. I so wish I just waited seeing these stories that nothing has been seen until 12wks. But I had been give no hope from 6wks which I now see was wrong I should of just waited but u trust them u think they know what they're doing. Especially as this 1 seems to be hanging on it makes me think it was trying. I wish I saw this site earlier and hope it gives a little hope to others, not false hope just not to give up entirely.Neither of us have twins in our family which makes it worse as that will probably never happen again. sending love and hope to you all x x x
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Postby Kay » Sun Feb 21, 2010 8:46 pm

(((hugs))) to you. Most babies are seen by 10 weeks although, as evidenced by the stories here, there are exceptions. It is very possible that even if there was a baby, the pregnancy was not viable. There is just no way to know. I'd find a new doctor, one who will listen to you and not pressure you to end your next pregnancy too soon.

(((Hugs))) again. I am sorry to hear of your loss.
-------------------------------
To read my own Misdiagnosed Miscarriage stories:
my blighted ovum scare
Told I was miscarrying at 12 weeks

Blogging on Misdiagnosed Miscarriages
If you are being diagnosed with a blighted ovum after IVF, please take a look at this article I put together: Misdiagnosed Miscarriage After IVF
and why I just believe a blighted ovum should NOT be diagnosed before nine weeks at the earliest and the UK's new guidelines support this


This post is for informational purposes only. This information is not intended to replace information given by your physician but rather intended to supplement that information.
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I'm in the same boat !

Postby ttbanh » Tue Jun 16, 2015 4:22 am

Hi Pueypuey! I believe that you had another baby already after 5 years. But same thing just happened to me last week. I was spotting for 2 days before I found out that I was 6w 2d pregnant . Ultrasound and blood test done 2 times in 2 weeks and my hcg level was increasing , strong heartbeat was founded.I had 3rd ultrasound on Friday 05/06/15 and been told baby was stopped growing at 8 weeks, measured 1.5cm. I supposed to be 8w 2d. Then another blood test done with the hcg was still increasing ?. But my doctor asked me to wait another few days unless the heavy bleeding start . I saw my Dr again in 4 days and she sent me to emergency department. I went there but they sent me home and asked me to come back next day to do d&c or take tablets.I was given tablets next day because d&c had to need few days to book theatre. I took tablets last Thursday to pass out the remains. I was devastating and in shock when I saw the remains : about 5cm long with eyes and fingers , not 1.5cm as described in the ultrasound ?. I asked my Dr and hospital Dr if it is any chance that my baby was still alive without heartbeat found and they both said No. I think that my baby was still alive and they were misdiagnosed it ? They didn't asked me to have final ultrasound to confirm the lost and I didn't think about it too, I just found this website few hours after I took abortion tablets.it was too late ! So were they neglected or misdiagnosed? Or I killed my baby ? I can't stop thinking about it and cry a lot since last week. I'm 42 year old and depressed to have another sibling for my 11 year old daughter, she cried a lot and heartbroken now. If anyone have problems like me, please wait and go for another ultrasound to make sure before doing something. Good luck with your pregnancy all women.
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Re: I think I killed my baby

Postby lipiec » Tue Jun 20, 2017 6:41 pm

sorry to hear about your loss E>
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