I want to be hopeful...

I want to be hopeful...

Postby Aquatiger » Wed Oct 11, 2017 4:16 pm

..but I also can't even figure out what to think.

As some background, I have three kids, all of whom were easy pregnancies and insanely easy to confirm.

My Last period started 30 July, and I'm relatively certain conception was somewhere around 12 August. I took a test a few days before my period was due, and got a negative, but on 25 August I got a positive on a HPT. I had to switch OBs because the midwives at my previous one left en masse, so I took recommendations of my friends and ended up at my current practice.

My first appointment was 3 October, when I should have been 9 weeks, 1 day. I has been experiencing some morning sickness up to about 8 weeks, and then it just started going away. I also had had some great tenderness. We started with a transvaginal ultrasound to confirm pregnancy. While my uterus was definitely fluid-filled, there was nothing there. Well, a small spot on the wall of the uterus, which the CNM thought the placenta was (it was very small, and not very obvious). She put on as happy face as she could, telling me we would measure HCG levels and move on from there. She also told me to return on Thursday to have my levels checked again, if I didn't start having any bleeding. My numbers from Tuesday were 74094 and my levels on Thursday were 65350. The CNM called after hours on Friday to tell me my current numbers and said that we would wait a bit longer to see if bleeding started, but because there was no baby on the US and my numbers were falling she was pretty sure this would end in miscarriage. She told me to come in today (11 Oct) for more blood work (I did, but I don't have results yet) and if bleeding still hadn't started, that they'd have me come in on Friday to talk about options. My issue is, at now 10 weeks and 2 days, it is entirely reasonable for my HCG to be falling off anyway. I just don't know what a normal rate is. Is 10,000 in two days too much?

I've had a few nights of low grade (~99.5F) fevers in again, off again over the past few weeks; some extremely loose bowel movements; my breasts stopped being tender for about a week, but started being tender again last night; and I just feel tired and have no appetite at all. I have the standard pregnancy mucus discharge, no spotting or bleeding at all.

Because it's my baby, I want to be completely insane and require every test imaginable before doing a single thing. I don't know at what point I have to admit I'm being irrational and clinging to hope and listen to the medical professionals. I miss knowing how I'm feeling without having to run through a list of physical symptoms (I think I have a lot of anxiety and probably grief in there). Is it crazy to insist on another US, even if I'd rather wait for the miscarriage to start on its own, if there will be one?

The weird thing is I always worried about miscarriage with every pregnancy before this one. It never even crossed my mind this time around - at least not in a worried way. And now I feel like it's making me sick.
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Re: I want to be hopeful...

Postby Kay » Sat Oct 14, 2017 2:32 pm

(((hugs))) to you. I am so sorry you are going through this. Because of the fever, you need to be certain you don't have an infection. It is not unreasonable to ask for another ultrasound to verify. Please, keep us updated. (((hugs))) again!
To read my own Misdiagnosed Miscarriage stories:
my blighted ovum scare
Told I was miscarrying at 12 weeks

Blogging on Misdiagnosed Miscarriages
If you are being diagnosed with a blighted ovum after IVF, please take a look at this article I put together: Misdiagnosed Miscarriage After IVF
and why I just believe a blighted ovum should NOT be diagnosed before nine weeks at the earliest and the UK's new guidelines support this

This post is for informational purposes only. This information is not intended to replace information given by your physician but rather intended to supplement that information.
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